Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Dear change (Day 43),


2ish months later
Today I have been finally rested enough to do some homework and think some things through. Although, all this thinking has made me think even more: Today I missed life-as-I-once-knew-Provo. Because I'm slowly accepting the fact that it's not how I left it.

There are some kids here at the center. Families of the faculty. One that I am a bit closer to has two boys, 17 and 13...the exact same age as my brothers. I had a super great conversation with them as they came in from school today. The time with them only ended in me missing my little brothers. And I remembered how much they were changing while I'm here.

I also stalked my best friend's twitter account to update myself on his life. I figured: he reads my blog, I'm allowed to stalk his twitter and know what's going on in the day-to-day happenings of his life...especially with his company that I now am very out-of-the-loop on. I may or may not have found his co-founders account. (Don't worry, Garrett. :) I didn't completely stalk you.) It was there I came across a tweet that mentioned the fact that people who have previously lived in Jerusalem have a way of slipping it into conversations with people they meet.

Which made me re-remember some reflections I've had here. Mostly my thoughts about who I will be when I get home. You see, in some ways, Jerusalem has completely solidified "who I am." As Erika puts it: I'm becoming more independent. More of the me I want to be. But in other ways, Jerusalem is changing me. I want to live differently, think differently, even LIVE somewhere different. Recently I have pictured my future self in a big city, something I'd never imagined before. And it reminds me that
things are always going to change.

And I think I'm ok with that. Because life here in Jerusalem has reminded me that somethings are harder than you expect them to be. But other things are better than you could have imagined.

Embrace the change? haha Love you. -Chloe'

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