Monday, December 2, 2013

IOWA CITY - week 8, week 10 mission

This week, I wanna write about something that's been on my mind a lot: love.
It's a beautiful thing.
We walk into random people's homes. And we start talking and suddenly they are gushing their deep emotions to us. And it's incredible how my heart responds instantly with love. I can't even judge them. I don't even know them. And yet I just want the best for them. I want them so badly to read the BoM so they can feel of God's love because that is SO much better than any love I could give them.
Sister Lloyd constantly stresses the importance of teaching people out of love...and I feel pretty inadequate to love this week.I'm just one girl. One girl with many imperfections. Who can't figure out what people need.
I got the coolest confirmation about the BoM last week (I did tell that story, right? last p-day feels like a life-time ago) and I have been so restless this week to share with others the importance of reading that book. It changed everything for me. And it can change the life of anyone who reads it, no matter how many times they have read it before. There are so many people who don't, won't, or even members who had STOPPED reading it, and their lives are completely affected by that choice.
I'm anxious for the knowledge that comes with this study. Satan has actually been using to his advantage this week. There were times when I didn't even want to teach people because I'm so obsessed with the BoM and feel like I don't even know what to say about it: just that it's true and that they should read it....which is maybe the point anyway. Maybe I'm not supposed to know it for that reason, you know? Maybe I'm just supposed to point other people to it.

Which brings me to my big focus of love this week: and that is my companions. Sister Lloyd will be on a plane home in less than 3 weeks. She's overwhelmed: and I feel so inadequate to be her friend. I don't know what to say or to do. She's been pretty quiet as she comes to terms with everything. Two nights ago I just sat there hugging her and crying because she was hurting and there was nothing I could do about it. And then it kind of hit me that maybe this was enough. Maybe words were superfluous at this moment. Maybe all I needed to do was continue to love her. I thought a lot this week (being Thanksgiving) about how much love had changed MY life. About the perfect friend at the perfect time was the exact support I needed. Or how my parent's loving atmosphere had made me see the world on a positive level. How Sister Lloyd being in my life at this time has changed me so deeply I don't even know what to think about it. I thought about how much we all respond to love. How much we crave it. How much we need it to be happy or to do anything else in life.
And then I thought about Christ. That's why we need Him. Because He loves us better than any mortal ever could. We find healing in His love. And peace. And happiness. And everything we need. I am doing so much study on the Atonement right now and how Christ can literally lift our burdens and carry our trials in this life, not just in the world to come. He can help us. Here. Now. This very moment. We just need to turn to Him. He is waiting.
I don't get it all the way. And I wish I did. I wish I could tell you that I know how to psychoanalyze people. Or to cast my burdens at the Lord's feet. But I'm trying. And it's coming.
Jesus is the Christ. The Messiah that the prophets have testified of for the entire span of the world's history. He is my Savior. From pain. From hurt. From confusion. From doubt. From the crushing forces of this world. Stop fighting the love He's trying to give to you.
......Thanks. I think that was more of a vent to my heart than it was to anyone else.
I love you, family. You are the reason I love this world. And I'm not exaggerating that.

~Sister ChloƩ Michelle Sumsion~

Iowa Des Moines Mission
8515 Douglas Ave Ste 19
Urbandale, IA 50322

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