It's not that I wake up and I'm surprised to see you, it's just that I'm down-hearted that reality is such. I laugh when I see birdseed and scoff at storage sheds full of just...stuff. I relate love songs to my relationship with the city. I feel a small tug at my heart when I see pictures of the Jesus, or even just of a sea. I froze when someone told me that people I spent time with this summer were so different from us, because I couldn't think of any polite way to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about. It's difficult to express to my brother the picture I have in my mind of a wrinkled man hunching over his Torah scroll while I talk to him about The Book Thief, which he is reading for school. Nor can I recall exactly why I feel like crying when I run into one of my 80 new close friends. I can't figure out why 12 days seems like ... sorry ... another flash back. What was I talking about? Oh. Yes. Part of my heart is permanently in Jerusalem. I remember now. I must apologize, I'm still new to this. I'm not sure how to face you, world. I'm really bad at texting. I don't know how to spend money on anything other than food. I'm scared the new me won't fit into my old Provo life. Will anyone see how much I've changed? Or worse yet, will the Jerusalem in me fade when the reality of school hits me once again?