Dear World,

It's not that I wake up and I'm surprised to see you, it's just that I'm down-hearted that reality is such. I laugh when I see birdseed and scoff at storage sheds full of just...stuff. I relate love songs to my relationship with the city. I feel a small tug at my heart when I see pictures of the Jesus, or even just of a sea. I froze when someone told me that people I spent time with this summer were so different from us, because I couldn't think of any polite way to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about. It's difficult to express to my brother the picture I have in my mind of a wrinkled man hunching over his Torah scroll while I talk to him about The Book Thief, which he is reading for school. Nor can I recall exactly why I feel like crying when I run into one of my 80 new close friends. I can't figure out why 12 days seems like ... sorry ... another flash back. What was I talking about? Oh. Yes. Part of my heart is permanently in Jerusalem. I remember now. I must apologize, I'm still new to this. I'm not sure how to face you, world. I'm really bad at texting. I don't know how to spend money on anything other than food. I'm scared the new me won't fit into my old Provo life. Will anyone see how much I've changed? Or worse yet, will the Jerusalem in me fade when the reality of school hits me once again?

And so, world, I'm ready to face you.....or at least, Jerusalem me wants to be. Or it least it better be ready because I'm moving in two days. I must thank you, though. This summer, you are better than anything I could have imagined. And I'm sure, world, that seeing you in Provo will bring good times too. I'm sure I'll talk to you again soon. --Chloé Michelle

Dear Shenanigans,

I've been home for over a week. I can't even believe it. Anyway: my friends and I got in some adventures. :) Happy shenaniganing!

Campus with some Jerusalem friends

Family time: new house and neighborhood, shopping...and Sam gets ahold of my camera

Sarah sleepovers and Kelsee's creations and German goodies

hahahahaha don't worry, that's sparkling cider 

 Wedding/reunion

Life is good when you're up for adventure. I love you, shenanigans. -Chloe'

Dear Adventure (Day 2),

I think I may just start a count-up calendar for the rest of my life. I think one thing I took away from this Jerusalem experience was that life is exciting/beautiful/ if you are looking for it. I'm sure there are adorable cafes, old homes, beautiful back-alleys, and interesting people in Provo...I've just never really taken the time to look.

So this is day 2 of my adventure (ok I don't think I'm really going to count again, but you get the idea): A family road trip to Colorado for my dad's bike race. 

Total length: 103 miles

Total elevation gain (aka the uphill): about 14,000 ft

My dad's time: 8:12:32

Award in category: third

Personal record: beat

Proud daughter: definitely

Oh and did I mention this is his tenth time finishing the race? Yeah. My dad is legit. Enjoy the video! -C.

Sorry it's kinda small here. Maybe try YouTube? <3 LOVE!

OH! and music credit goes to Kelsee. How are you so good at country music???? Love you girl.

Dear Home,

 Well Shalom. This is............weird. I live in America.

 I wasn't surprised when I woke up like I thought I'd be. Just mellow. Lexi says it will feel more strange in a few days. I think the term "sinking in" just means taking time to understand what this new thing means in your life.

Gas station food. Bathroom. Music.  All normal. All weird. 

I try to quote inside jokes just to set them a little more firmly and prominently in my mind. I relate love songs on the radio to Jerusalem. I like it.

Watched Narnia and almost died of love. I know some people think they are cheesy, but I couldn't get enough of the feeling I got during it. I wanted to stand up in the middle seat of the car and tell Aslan I'd be faithful to him. Lucy is the freaking strongest 13-ish year old ever......well......maybe besides Joe Ludlow. Miss my home already.

Home away from home, I should say. My family is surrounding me in the car as we road trip to Colorado. This feels right too.

Respectfully, Chloé Michelle

                        

Dear Loved Ones (Day 100),

I had an intimate conversation with my professor yesterday, and felt the tiniest tug at my heart for the first time.

It's time to say goodbye.

I'm not sure if it hasn't hit me yet, or if I just don't want to let it hit me yet. I think I refuse to let it sink in because I still have time left here. I think I have willfully chosen not to count the number of days left here. I have refused to start a count down like others here have done (notice the title). I am soaking up every last minute here. I am not watching movies or sleeping more than necessary. I am not doing my homework instead of going to the city. I refuse to give in that easily. I will live in my city until my city is forced from my sight in the window of the airplane.

And so, it is with much deliberation that I have decided to give up blogging until I am home August 9th. I keep stressing about it. I keep worrying I won't have time. And the truth is, I don't. Not that I can't make time....just that I choose to savor this last week-or-so for every inch of beauty it is worth.

To my family: I will call you, don't worry. And we will have lots of catch up time on our road trip the following weekend.

To my wonderful and faithful friends: I'm sorry. I which I could say I'll email you more but........chances are, I'll call you first chance I get.

Here is to living life to it's fullest. Here is to treasuring every moment of things you love. Here is to the chance of a lifetime. See you soon. Literally.

Sincerely, Chloe Michelle