Dear Connections,

Today, I need your advice.

Recently, I've been thinking about tolerance and integrity. About instances where you should allow people to do what they want, as well as moments where you should stand for something.

So tonight I had a seemly bland, but surprising meaningful conversation to add to my thoughts. It went a little something like this:

Me: "Hello [Friendly Jewish Man Who Will Be Attending The Concert I Am Ushering For]. Welcome to the Center."
Him: "Shalom. Were you just reading the Guest Registry comments? You're not supposed to do that."
Me: "Oh...um... *nervous giggle* Yes I was. The couple in charge told me to."
The conversation then turned nice and he asked me how long I had been here and where he lived and so forth.

After our conversation finished, I was a bit concerned. I was surprised at how blunt he was to tell me off so authoritatively. I felt so intimidated by him. I wasn't reading them because i had to, I was reading them because i wanted to. Because i was interested in what people had to say.

I started feeling guilty. Maybe reading those registry books are NOT ok. Maybe i was the one here breaking social norms. Maybe I should listen to this man with his authoritative attitude.

But maybe not. Maybe he just gave his opinion and i wasn't confident enough to stick up for myself.

What do you think? Was I right to be intimidated by him? Or should I have been more confident in my response and said what I ACTUALLY felt? I'd love to hear!

Sincerely, Chloe' Michelle

Dear John Alvin Green the Third,

you inspired me with our talk yesterday. Because it remind me of things I had forgotten:

#1-- I love blogging. I'm going to do it more. If people want to listen, they can...but if not, that's ok. Because I want to do it anyway. Simply because I enjoy it.

#2-- I love friendships. They bring me joy.

#3-- I want to be a better person. Partly because you are so awesome. Partly because you reminded me that I can work harder than I have been.

So here is to not being lazy. Here is to love and affection. Here is to a LOT more blogging. Here is to Jerusalem Summer 2012! Thanks for a good day, Alvin. I enjoyed our long bus ride through the backroads of Turkey.
-Chloe' Michelle

Dear Connections,

Meet my mother. She's freaking amazing.

So you know when you have those Sunday church meetings when you just get overwhelmed with one specific emotion? Yeah well today was gratitude for my mother.

My mother puts up with way too much from me. I would know. I'm so very much like her.

Like when she takes me shopping for two days straight before heading off to Jerusalem. So I didn't have to stress about cloying until after finals week.

It was a long weekend. But I hope it was worth it. Because my mother has also taught me to be obedient. And now I wake up every morning feeling confident about my conservative strict Jerusalem center rules. I love her for sacrificing when I have emergencies and so that I can feel comfortable.

My mom is my hero. I love her more than the sky and the earth.

GNLYS. Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

-Chloe' Michelle

Dear Jerusalem, Week 1,

...HOLY RAINBOWS! I love you already. And I've been here like a day. Crazy
Things I love so far: Call to Prayer 5 times a day. Beautiful. My internet reading right to left. Right now the periods are all on the left side of the page and the words are on the right. :) Awesome.e

I love it here. My closest friend told me to "soak it in. Take pictures of the dumb stuff. Like where you do your laundry." I love that. Because I want to remember ever inch of this place. The only word I can describe it right now is magical. There's something different here. A lady from back home, when she found out I was going to the Holy Land, told me "even the very dirt testifies that Jesus is the Christ." If that alludes at all to the magic of this place....I hope you understand.d

.So for now, I think I'm going to stick with a picture a day. We'll see how this goes

.Day 1--4/24. Packing

yeah...all of that has to fit in...and it did :)

Day 2--4/25 Tired.

Been traveling for over 24 hours

Day 3--4/26. First tour

THAT'S MY VIEW! and my home

.Day 4--4/27 Birthday

Beauty in it's purity

Day 5--4/28 WOW! A tour through my new world

LOVE YOU ALREADY, JERUS. <3 Chloe'Michelle

Dear Internet,

why are you going so slow?

Oh. Yeah. That.

20. If you are interested.......and that's just one window.

I'm not crazy. It's just the only way I remember to do the things I need to.......

opps.

LOVE MY LIFE!     <3 - Chloe' 

Dear Connections,

Everything will be ok.

And I hope you realize I don't mean that in a sappy way. I'm not sure how I can express to you the sincerity of that thought in my mind right now. I take risks. I make mistakes. But you know what? That's ok. Because every single person on this planet does. And that's not to say that everything will WORKOUT ok. But everything will BE ok. Here's what I mean:

---The decision to go to school could be a bad idea. It could train me to be uncreative and to be unmotivated in my work. (See my Professor's article. He's way better at explaining it then I am. My mind was blown and my world was changed. Seriously, read it.)

---The relationship I've been working on with my Best Friend for the last 6 years could be a bad idea. It could be one of those things that I should have dropped along time ago.

---Leaving my boyfriend to live in Israel for the next 3/4/5 months could be a very bad idea. It could hurt. A lot. He is very likely to find someone else while I'm away.

But you know what? That's ok.

---Because school brings me so much joy. During finals week, I often forget this fact and ask myself why the heck I signed myself up for/payed for this torture. But most of the time, I love the stretch. I love the learning. I literally crave the knowledge. And if in 10 years I look back and say "Man, I wasted so much time. I didn't even need a degree to get to where I am today," that's ok. I promise. I'll live. I'll learn. I'll be upset. And then I'll figure out a way to move on. Everyone does.

---Because it's worth the fight. Because I want so badly to have Tyler and I's relationship continue, that the risk of him not being there for me forever is worth it. For every time I called and cried to him after a long day. For every single time I laughed with him. It's worth the try. It's worth the risk. It's worth the pain that might come if it fails.

---Because my boyfriend may wake up tomorrow and move on. He could forget. He could find something deeper than he has with me. But that's ok. That doesn't make me any less likely to wake up today caring about him like crazy. It would still be worth it. Just for each moment I get to spend in his arms.

Things may fail. Things may hurt. Things may die. But would I trade the possible loss of love for the alternative of never having loved at all? No. No I would not.

Hope you are surviving finals. Sincerely, Chloé

Dear Fun.ny fans,

Ok I have SO much studying to do, but I have to rant real quick. When you go to a concert and buy the t-shirt, you HAVE to be willing to talk about it. I mean COME ON! Let’s be honest, you stood in line for a fourth of the Fun. concert and paid 4 times what you should have for the dang thing and wore the t-shirt to school the following day because you wanted to show off. So do it! Because wearing it the day after means that it was so FREAKING good that you have to tell the world how you almost died from love of the band. (Which is ok, because it really WAS that awesome.) If I pass you and make a comment like “Hey, good concert, huh?” And you look at me like I’m crazy, then #1 I feel SUPER AWKWARD or #2 it makes me want to yell “POSER! IF YOU DON’T WANT TO TALK, STOP FLAUNTING!” But the Superego inside me says that’s not socially acceptable. Aren’t I justified in this desire? Haha All I want is to relive the experience a bit. Is that not enough of a reason to talk to a random stranger? Come on, man, aren’t we united enough under our love for the amazing band that we can stop and chat about it for like 3 seconds???? *Sigh* Oh well. Good concert any way. 

-Chloé